Boundaries of Acceptable/Non-Acceptable Behavior:

Our choice to live at Nyland puts us in relationship with each other and indicates a willingness to try to have the relationships be as healthy as possible.  To maintain the healthy relationships we need skills and options that support the whole range of human relations from joy through conflict.  It is expected that Nylanders make a commitment to work to foster healthy relationships.

Specific Boundaries of Acceptable/Non-Acceptable Behavior
Within the Nyland Community violence is neither accepted nor tolerated.  The Community strives for a nonviolent communication model within which to relate to each other, especially in times of conflict.  Nyland Community members expect and deserve nonviolence, in all its manifestations, from each other.  "Violence" is seen by the Community as a continuum and is a broad term ranging from verbal abuse to physical violence.  Specifically, the Community finds unacceptable the following behaviors:
Verbal abuse;
Threats to destroy Community or others' personal property;
Theft of personal or Community property;
Destruction of Community or others' personal property;
Threats of physical violence; and
Physical violence.
Violence also includes scapegoating and vigilante activities against Community members.  Any Community sanctions against Nyland members may only occur with due process in order to protect the rights of individual Community members.  If any Community Member, the Well-being Group or the Board believes that a nonviolence boundary has been crossed, we as a community expect that the individuals involved be committed to process the conflict and it not be ignored.  This may involve just the individuals directly in the conflict or may include the greater Community or not depending on need and circumstance.

One goal of this statement is to help individual Community members as well as the Community as a whole to implement and sustain the commitment involved in setting boundaries:  when a line is crossed the Community is both justified and obligated to have a conversation with that person about what they are up to.  The Nyland Community's intent is to develop and offer the appropriate resources for individuals and/or the Community to be able to take appropriate action when conflict of different levels occurs (e.g., name calling vs physical violence).  Because nonviolent communication is so fundamental to respecting the individual and the community as well as to fostering safety and well being (from Nyland's Mission Statement) the Community has a continuing obligation to develop and maintain appropriate tools, methods of intervention, means of de-escalation, trainings, workshops about good communication skills, internal resources, external mediators/trainers, etc., so that a tool box of ways of meeting a given level of conflict is provided within the Community.

It is recognized that there are different levels of conflict that may be described, although how they are experienced will differ from person to person.  Identifying different levels of conflict/action, described below, is helpful in giving community members guidance and creating expectations about actions and likely/needed responses and resources needed by the Community.  The levels are not mutually exclusive and more than one level of conflict and/or response may describe or cover one "event."  These examples are intended to be consistent with Nyland's Conflict Resolution Process.

Level 1
Types of conflict:  mild-moderate disagreements, heated conversation, verbal abuse, and/or hurt feelings, etc.
Types of responses:   internal process - do your own work first.  You may be able to deal with it yourself.

Level 2
Types of conflict:  more heated or intense situation than Level 1, possibly Level 1 types of conflicts depending on how they are experienced by anyone involved, unable to resolve situation by doing your own work, and/or additional minor violence is occurring without resolution.
Types of responses:   direct communication - go to the person or parties with which you are having the struggle using a non-violent communication model.

Level 3
Types of conflict:  impasse reached with direct communication, repeated pattern of unacceptable Level 1 or Level 2 behaviors, additional hurts occurring during attempts to communicate and resolve the original conflict, and/or need for more comfort in interaction by one or more parties, etc.  Other specific types of violence that may be at this level, in addition to Level 1 or 2 situations just described, include threats of property violence or threats of personal violence.
Types of action:  go to Well-being to get assistance.  Outside Nyland resources may be sought.  De-escalation needed.

Level 4
Types of conflict:  impasse even after Well-being involved, repeated pattern with continued unacceptable behavior and boundaries above clearly crossed, and/or potentially serious situation with sense of escalation.
Types of action:  involvement of the whole Community with a least one face-to-face Community meeting.  Outside resources may be sought.  De-escalation needed.

Level 5
Types of conflict:  very serious conflict, physical violence occurred or highly likely, complaints with the  police may have occurred, arrests may have occurred, etc.
Types of action:  Community needs to be involved ASAP while honoring due process, sanctions against individuals possible.  Police may have been/may be called by individual(s) involved and/or Community.  De-escalation may or may not be an issue but awareness regarding it should be maintained. 

Dangerous and Unsafe Behavior
While not specifically "violent", some behaviors create risk of physical injury/harm to Community members.  Such activities or actions, likely to also be in violation of Lafayette municipal codes and/or Nyland's own CCRs, are considered to be outside the boundaries of acceptable behavior as a Nyland Community member.  Community members who witness or are aware of such risky situations should feel affirmatively empowered to engage, in a non-violent manner, the person(s) responsible.